Of course not... I wouldn't cheat on you ever, B. [There are just... some things he believes in and not betraying Billy like that is at the top of his list.] It's not your fault though. That's a crappy excuse to use... he knew that going in.
[He gives a sadder smile as Billy holds tighter.]
I'm sorry it didn't work out... I really wanted it to. I liked seeing you happy.
( it'd be one thing if loki had talked to him first. had even given billy an inkling of what was going on, but--no. not a word. nothing until it came up accidentally. thanks a lot, loki laufeyson. )
I know it's not my fault. Thanks though. ( leaning in a little closer, lips pressing to the curve of teddy's jawline. )
( he's comfortable wherever teddy is, but billy understands what he's getting at. somewhere to sit for a while. try and relax, as if that's actually going to happen. )
Definitely at least a punch. I'll have to get my stuff out of the Sanctum. .
( yes, he would like that. he'd like to just leave all his problems for someone else to deal with, but this isn't just his problem, it's hurting teddy, too. )
( soft and sweet, a hand moving away from his neck to press to a cheek, patting at it softly. )
I know you're hurt, too. And I'd never ask something like that of you. I can get your stuff while I'm there, kill two birds with one stone. Be in and out before anyone notices.
[He tilts into that touch, if only because it means Billy is still there with him, not lost in his head again, not lost to depression and bad days. He hasn't even had time to let it all properly sink in -- his head is still spinning, wondering how this could possibly happen.
But at least Billy is still responsive and that's one thing Teddy can be grateful for.]
I should go with you... I want to, B. You shouldn't have to do it alone. And besides-- I might be hurt, but I wasn't exactly the one who thought he was going to spend eternity with the guy. You were going to give up friends and family, even aging... all to be with Loki.
( billy is still here, which is a feat all of it's own. he's responding, trying his goddamn best not to shut down. it wouldn't be fair to teddy, dropping that bomb on him and then fading out into nothing. not that fair really has anything to do with being depressed--but he's trying his best here. )
Okay. We'll get everything--later, then. Now's probably not a good time, and I don't think I left anything there that I absolutely can't live without. ( except loki himself. ) I was--wondering why it was that he took his time getting that apple to me. Guess now we know, huh.
[He appreciates Billy trying, that's all. He knows for a fact that it isn't easy to do. Turning his head, he presses a kiss to Billy's head as he settles them back on the ground, just outside the apartment.]
I think that was my fault... I mean, I know I didn't make him cheat, B. But from the sounds of it, you were both well on your way to getting married and settling here forever and then I just-- showed up. He didn't want me to be part of the picture, not that close at least.
[And he'd been hopeful maybe he could get closer to Loki, that maybe he could have a place, but...] Cheating's on him, but I was the one who backed down on staying away from you.
[But how could he say no when Billy was the man he loved more than anything? When he'd have been so desperately lost... and Billy seemed to want him back? He lets out a breath.]
Not that it matters now, I guess. Even if I went home tomorrow, Loki still did something horrible to you and there's no excuse.
Thinking about it isn't going to get us anywhere, T. ( even if billy also wants to do that. sit and think about all the things he could have done, should have done, would have, if he had known. ) It doesn't matter why he did it. Hell, it doesn't even matter that he did it--it's the being dishonest about it part.
( with teddy's feet back on the ground billy starts squirming to get himself down, too. back onto solid ground. )
Loki didn't talk to me. Not once, about any of this. Not until I brought up getting married. I don't care about his reasons. All I asked for was the truth when it came to us. And he couldn't manage that, so.
[He helps Billy back down to the ground, shifting his form away from Hulkling as he starts to lead the way inside.]
I guess so... yeah. [Teddy feels shaken again, like the rug has been pulled out from under his feet the same way as when he first arrived here and he realized Billy had moved on with someone else.
He's angry at Loki for lying to both of them when he could have been honest from the start, they could have figured out what to do to fix things...
Part of him is back to wondering if he's really enough, now that apparently Loki is out of the picture, but it's not right to put that on Billy right now, or anything else for that matter. He draws in a breath, tries to push all that down in favor of focusing on Billy. He's-- better at that after all. He prefers that.]
Come on, you're right. Thinking about it right now isn't going to do anything. Let's-- try to find something else to think about, okay? Anything. Maybe we can put in some dumb action movie and turn out brains off for a bit, right? Might be better...
( low, quiet as he follows after teddy. there wasn't a chance to shut down before, but they're getting close. close to back inside where it's safe, close to where he can just let himself turn off for a little while. not--not forever. not even for long.
but god, just enough to try and recenter himself would be nice. a little room to breathe. to think about what's going on, what happened, where he's supposed to go from here. loki has been a large part of his life in riverview, and honestly. . he doesn't know where to go from here anymore. )
[Right now, he just focuses on getting Billy inside their apartment. Once there, he guide him towards the bedroom -- maybe they can just sprawl out for a while.]
C'mon, B. Stretch out for a while, okay? I'll handle dinner in a bit or something. Whatever you want.
We can order in Chinese or something, if you want.
( something simple and fast that doesn't require cooking. god, billy can't cook. he's so used to eating whatever loki puts down now--not that they can't survive on their own, but. )
I wanted to take him home with us. I knew it was going to take a while to convince him to come, but. .
( it was still in his book of plans, something billy wanted to get to. with his arms wrapped tight around teddy's own, head tilting to rest his cheek against a shoulder. )
I pictured it in my head. You, me, him--standing in that nice apartment with the amazing view. Bringing the YA back together, having house parties. . you know, between all the crazy stuff that happens. I really, really wanted it to work out. He told me earlier, how he didn't think he'd ever gotten to be this happy in any other universe. But if he was really happy, why would he do that?
[He knew Billy had so much planned, so much he'd been looking forward to -- and Teddy had been too, if he's honest.]
I wish I could say, B. Loki is good at self-sabotage, right? I don't know if it's that, or if he's just a really good liar. We can-- still have all that. The apartment, the group back together... It might be missing one element, but... I don't know what we can do about that, really. That wasn't exactly a little white lie...
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analienprince) wrote2018-06-03 01:54 am
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[But again, he'd hoped, at least.]
I thought he wanted to try it, try to make it work with the three of us...
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( gripping on even tighter to teddy, thank you. )
I thought he wanted to try, too.
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[He gives a sadder smile as Billy holds tighter.]
I'm sorry it didn't work out... I really wanted it to. I liked seeing you happy.
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I know it's not my fault. Thanks though. ( leaning in a little closer, lips pressing to the curve of teddy's jawline. )
'll get over it.
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You really are amazing, you know... and you deserved better than being lied to like that. Especially over that.
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( grumbled soft, eyes closed as he holds on. )
Maybe later.
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[He turns his head to press a kiss to his forehead.]
Right now, I want to get you home and get you comfortable.
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( he's comfortable wherever teddy is, but billy understands what he's getting at. somewhere to sit for a while. try and relax, as if that's actually going to happen. )
Definitely at least a punch. I'll have to get my stuff out of the Sanctum. .
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[Because he's definitely not interested in staying anywhere near Loki at the moment. That wouldn't end well, he's pretty sure."
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( yes, he would like that. he'd like to just leave all his problems for someone else to deal with, but this isn't just his problem, it's hurting teddy, too. )
I can get it. I'm not afraid of him.
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[He's a large part of what caused all of this, right? He can take the hurt if it means Billy doesn't have to deal with it.]
Unless you're sure...
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( soft and sweet, a hand moving away from his neck to press to a cheek, patting at it softly. )
I know you're hurt, too. And I'd never ask something like that of you. I can get your stuff while I'm there, kill two birds with one stone. Be in and out before anyone notices.
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But at least Billy is still responsive and that's one thing Teddy can be grateful for.]
I should go with you... I want to, B. You shouldn't have to do it alone. And besides-- I might be hurt, but I wasn't exactly the one who thought he was going to spend eternity with the guy. You were going to give up friends and family, even aging... all to be with Loki.
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Okay. We'll get everything--later, then. Now's probably not a good time, and I don't think I left anything there that I absolutely can't live without. ( except loki himself. ) I was--wondering why it was that he took his time getting that apple to me. Guess now we know, huh.
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I think that was my fault... I mean, I know I didn't make him cheat, B. But from the sounds of it, you were both well on your way to getting married and settling here forever and then I just-- showed up. He didn't want me to be part of the picture, not that close at least.
[And he'd been hopeful maybe he could get closer to Loki, that maybe he could have a place, but...] Cheating's on him, but I was the one who backed down on staying away from you.
[But how could he say no when Billy was the man he loved more than anything? When he'd have been so desperately lost... and Billy seemed to want him back? He lets out a breath.]
Not that it matters now, I guess. Even if I went home tomorrow, Loki still did something horrible to you and there's no excuse.
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( with teddy's feet back on the ground billy starts squirming to get himself down, too. back onto solid ground. )
Loki didn't talk to me. Not once, about any of this. Not until I brought up getting married. I don't care about his reasons. All I asked for was the truth when it came to us. And he couldn't manage that, so.
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I guess so... yeah. [Teddy feels shaken again, like the rug has been pulled out from under his feet the same way as when he first arrived here and he realized Billy had moved on with someone else.
He's angry at Loki for lying to both of them when he could have been honest from the start, they could have figured out what to do to fix things...
Part of him is back to wondering if he's really enough, now that apparently Loki is out of the picture, but it's not right to put that on Billy right now, or anything else for that matter. He draws in a breath, tries to push all that down in favor of focusing on Billy. He's-- better at that after all. He prefers that.]
Come on, you're right. Thinking about it right now isn't going to do anything. Let's-- try to find something else to think about, okay? Anything. Maybe we can put in some dumb action movie and turn out brains off for a bit, right? Might be better...
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( low, quiet as he follows after teddy. there wasn't a chance to shut down before, but they're getting close. close to back inside where it's safe, close to where he can just let himself turn off for a little while. not--not forever. not even for long.
but god, just enough to try and recenter himself would be nice. a little room to breathe. to think about what's going on, what happened, where he's supposed to go from here. loki has been a large part of his life in riverview, and honestly. . he doesn't know where to go from here anymore. )
Later, we can go and punch him.
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C'mon, B. Stretch out for a while, okay? I'll handle dinner in a bit or something. Whatever you want.
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( something simple and fast that doesn't require cooking. god, billy can't cook. he's so used to eating whatever loki puts down now--not that they can't survive on their own, but. )
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[Or anything, really, if it means he doesn't feel so... useless and helpless to help Billy.]
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( with a gentle lean in to teddy, shifting back to wrap both arms around one of the other's own. )
But takeout might be easier?
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You're amazing. And okay-- we'll order out.
[He nudges at Billy lightly.]
You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever is on your mind...
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( it was still in his book of plans, something billy wanted to get to. with his arms wrapped tight around teddy's own, head tilting to rest his cheek against a shoulder. )
I pictured it in my head. You, me, him--standing in that nice apartment with the amazing view. Bringing the YA back together, having house parties. . you know, between all the crazy stuff that happens. I really, really wanted it to work out. He told me earlier, how he didn't think he'd ever gotten to be this happy in any other universe. But if he was really happy, why would he do that?
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[He knew Billy had so much planned, so much he'd been looking forward to -- and Teddy had been too, if he's honest.]
I wish I could say, B. Loki is good at self-sabotage, right? I don't know if it's that, or if he's just a really good liar. We can-- still have all that. The apartment, the group back together... It might be missing one element, but... I don't know what we can do about that, really. That wasn't exactly a little white lie...
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